Soulmates Don’t Exist

What does it mean when someone says that they’ve found their soulmate? Your soulmate is supposedly the person that you were destined to be with. But out of the billions of people in this world, are you really only meant to be compatible with one person? Soulmates is a concept that originated from Greek Mythology and this concept has been heavily romanticized in story books and movies to make every one of us believe that we each have a soulmate.


Soulmates are as real as fairies and elves.


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GASP. But Sophia, isn’t Peter your soulmate?!?! *cue confusion and shookedness*

Peter is not my soulmate. He is my best friend, my boyfriend, and someone I choose to be with every day. Growing up, I had believed that there was only one other person in this world that I could belong to. But with my parents’ divorce, a few break-ups of my own, and working through almost 6 years with Peter, I realized that that is not the case.


Selycia Yang Photography

As much as I want to believe in fairy-tales and Nicholas Sparks stories and believe that Peter was the one that I was waiting all my life for, reality isn’t as magical. There are so many people in this world that you can be compatible with. In theory, I could break up with Peter and move to an entirely new place, start a new relationship with someone else and be just as happy. There will always be someone else that share your interests or beliefs, but it’s your choice to act on those connections romantically or use those connections to build a platonic friendship. 

I believe that love is not a matter of destiny, but a matter of effort, understanding each other’s love languages, and trust. If I have learned anything from the six years with Peter, it is that the grass is greener where you water it. During hard times, you may look elsewhere and see the best attributes in others and only the faults in your partner. But no one is an exception to imperfections. You can choose to leave your current relationship and go through the honeymoon stage all over again with someone new or you can choose to stay and water the rough patches. 

So no – Peter is not my soulmate. He is my chosen one. Every day we choose to love each other, nurture each other, support each other, and work through any issue that comes our way together. Today, I choose you. If there comes a day where one of us decides that it was time to go, then so be it. But out of all the compatible people either of us could have been with, we chose each other. And I think that’s more special than any pre-destined fate could have ever predicted.


Selycia Yang Photography

What’s your take on soulmates and destiny? Do you agree with my perspective or have a different opinion? I would love to know!


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