I remember dreading the feeling of waking up each weekday morning to the sound of my annoying and raucous phone alarm, wishing I could just keep pressing the snooze button. Do I have to go into work today? Because I really, reeeally don’t want to go in. But I already knew the answer to my own thoughts — my student loans and bills weren’t going to pay themselves (unfortunately).
Don’t get me wrong — I didn’t HATE my current job, but I didn’t like or love it either. I felt I was doing the same things over and over again. There was no sense of challenge, no sense of further self-growth. I would always rant and complain about my job to my family and friends… This is when I knew it was time to start looking for a new job.
You would think that job searching would be a lot easier after gaining at least 1.5 years of work experience in the adult world… but the struggle was still the same. However, I will say that back when I graduated college, I would apply to anything and everything. This time around, I only applied to jobs at companies that I knew I wanted to work for and could see myself working at long-term. This time, ya girl gave herself some boundaries and guidelines to follow.
Let me tell you — job searching was tiring and exhausting back then, and it was tiring and exhausting still. Working 8-hour shifts daily throughout the week only to come home and continue staring at another computer screen to apply for jobs? And receiving rejections — so many rejections, yet again. It was literally a déjà vu of what I had experienced when I first began job searching after college. I felt stressed, frustrated, and even unmotivated (even though I really wanted a new position). Why wasn’t anyone hiring me?
Then one day, I was finishing up a meeting and saw that I had a voicemail from a recruiter: “Hi Lellian, I have exciting updates for you. Call me back when you can. Thanks!” I was stupidly smiling from ear to ear. I FINALLY got a call back for a job offer. I was ecstatic.
When I got home, I made a pro/con list to help me decide if I should accept the offer (pro/con lists give me life). Y’all, there were no cons. LOL. The next day, I accepted the position and put in my two weeks’ notice.
I worked very closely with my team of four other Training Logistics Coordinators at 3M, and we were working on the biggest training deployment the Fortune 500 Company has ever had. So that could partly explain why I was especially nervous and anxious to tell my lead that I was planning to quit my current position and move onto another position at a different company. I felt guilty for wanting to leave. And I especially never like to let people down or disappoint.
But this was all business, and it happens all the time. Anyone can be replaced in a corporate setting. And if it were the other way around where they had to let me go, they would do so in a heartbeat.
When I told my lead, she was understanding — happy for me, even. I was more nervous and anxious than I had to be! She later expressed her concerns about finding my replacement in time and how we would wrap up the projects I was currently working on, but I was relieved nonetheless. However stressful it would be for my team to replace me and find someone to take over my work, it would happen in due time.
Guilt and anxiety aside, I felt a lot more relieved when the news was out. And you would think that the last two weeks I had in my current position would be a breeze — but I was actually working my butt off every single day. They were taking advantage of me while I was still there — but to be honest, I didn’t mind at all since I wanted to finish what I could before I left. A stressful two weeks it was, but I wouldn’t have had it any other way.
All in all, during my last few months in my position at 3M, I wasn’t happy. The majority of my hours in a week is spent at work, and not looking forward to going into work was a huge red flag for me. It is so easy to choose to just sit back and stay comfortable in a job that isn’t fulfilling and makes you unhappy. But that was not the life I wanted to live — so I did something about it.
I start my new position this coming week, and although I’m a little nervous about starting all over, I’m genuinely excited for what’s to come.
Photography by Kelly Kwong of Sweet Petite Photography