Why I Won’t Marry Him

Photo by Selycia Yang Photography | MUA Nkaoshoua Yang 

First of all – THANK YOU! My last post about my second love received so much love and feedback. You guys are awesome. Along with all of that, I’ve also been getting plenty of marriage related comments. When’s the wedding?! Where’s the ring?! Just get married already!! As much as it flatters me that you all support our relationship, I am not going to marry Peter…

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…yet. πŸ˜‰ Five years is a long time to be in a relationship with someone and by this point, most people would say it’s about time to tie the knot. Especially now that we’ve both graduated from college. But I have different thoughts on it. Before I begin my reasoning, I would just like to put it out there that this is an opinion and what I do is what I decide is best for me right now. In no way do I think my opinions are better than someone else’s opinions regarding marriage. We all decide when and how and why we do what we do.

Whenever I tell people that I don’t want to get married anytime soon, people get very confused.

Why not? Don’t you love Peter? You’ve already been with him for so long. Why not just make it a done deal? You can do everything you want to do with him as your husband just the same as he was your boyfriend. 

It’s different. In my opinion, getting married is a very serious matter that shouldn’t be taken lightly. I’m young, fresh out of college – there’s many other things on my checklist that I want to accomplish before I get married. I don’t want to follow the status quo and get married just because we’ve been together for an x amount of years and it’s what society expects from us.

First, we need to be roommates. This is one of the biggest things that Peter and I need to do before we say ‘I do’. There are countless times where people have broken up after they’ve moved in together. You learn a lot about the other person and their little habits that you would have never known about. It’s a huge test to the relationship to challenge us on learning how to co-exist and compromise. If you’re happy with your partner and can look past all the little things, great! If you feel like you’re going to rip each other’s heads off every day you come home, then you might need to reevaluate the relationship. On that note, Peter and I are hoping to move in together by next fall of 2018!

Secondly, I want us to spend money on traveling before we spend money on a ring. Peter and I have traveled to other states and had adventures, but they were always with friends or family. We still need to experience places on our own, just the two of us. We have our 13323189_1263154233712892_1429021885788934748_o (1)very first trip together planned for the end of August. We’ll be off to New York as his graduation gift to me! (Thank you, sweetheart!) I plan on having a Vlog for all of you (fingers crossed). Traveling is one of my biggest goals in life. I want to see the world and I want a partner who is just as excited and curious of what’s out there as I am. I want to be able to relax on beautiful white sand with him as well as go to great heights for the breathtaking views. If we can be each other’s favorite travel buddy then I believe we can be each other’s favorite life buddy.

Being financially stable is a higher priority to me than getting married right now. My independence is very important to me. I want to ensure that I am in a place where I am not depending on Peter and can support myself before I get married. I want the both of us to be successful individually. The last thing I want is to fight about money like many failed marriages do. Also, if you’re Asian or have been to an Asian wedding, you know that we go all out. EXTRA AF. A wedding is a celebration of the love between two people and the joining of two families so we make sure that everybody knows. I wouldn’t be able to have a small wedding even if I wanted to because our parents would never let it pass. So if we’re going to be extra anyways, I want to be able to have the funds for my dream wedding dress, cake, whatever! I also want us to come back to reality and not have to worry about the bills or mortgage when the wedding is over. I want us to celebrate our love without a worry in the back of our mind.

Most importantly, I need to be mentally and emotionally ready. Like I said, marriage to me is a serious matter. I’ve seen too many failed marriages including my own parents’ to want to believe that a ring and some vows will keep two people together forever. I’m also still figuring out who I am as a person. I want to be confident and happy and know who I am as an independent person before signing away my last name to his. Luckily enough, I am blessed to have a partner that understands this and is giving me that space to grow.

 

So to answer the one main question: Yes, I do want to marry Peter. He is someone that I can see in my future. Not just tomorrow, or next year, but 30 years from now. Yes, I can see him being the father of my child one day. Yes, I can‘t think of anyone else who can drive me up the walls but also make me laugh until my sides hurt. I wouldn’t want to wake up without his flurry of morning kisses or to fall asleep without his fingers grazing my head for the rest of my life. When I think of my future, Peter is there. The wedding bells will chime for us one day when we’re both ready. Besides, Sophia Nguyen has a nice ring to it. ❀

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If you’re looking for a photographer that can capture the love between you and your partner, contact Selycia Yang based in WI. She does some amazing work as you can see by these photos! Click here for her Facebook page! And click here for Nkaoshoua’s makeup page!

Photo by Selycia Yang Photography | MUA Nkaoshoua Yang 

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4 thoughts on “Why I Won’t Marry Him

  1. I’m loving this article! And I completely see what you mean. As much as I love you and Peter together, there are so many things you two should be able to experience before marriage! Way to beat the status quo!

    Liked by 1 person

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